VCE ? 我死定了

Today was tiring, hmm...or maybe i'm just tired now. woke up at 6 40ish to get ready for school, sighh..first period was maths test, geegee, logarithms and log graphs. I swear mr. smith never taught us all this stuff, but then again I could be wrong, cause i never listen to him in class ^^" ah.. well i guess its more productive to do work then to listen to him ramble on about his maths creations. anyways, the test was pretty bs the first time I went through it, luckily i finished in time to double check everything =D phew. i really hope i do okay, i hardly studied for this one T_T *guilty*. hopefully the end of years will be short enough for me to double check, or im gged. nothing else really important about school. everyone seemed a bit stoned today, hmm..maybe holidays after effect =s. after school, slept on bus and studied when i got home. then swimming, saw ray the fag. rofl, and darren was missing, hrmmm, prob working again ==;. stupid nick kept talking to me about dota, @@, mannn took me so much effort to quit dota all together and now i'm so tempted to go back, AHH, please god let me refrain from asking anyone for warcraft 3.

weeeeeelllllllll, i was thinking of finishing my camp memorial so here we go :
12th -
this was the most epic sunday i'd had in a while. i remember waking up late just like the day before, except this time nobody told me to wake up ==;, and everyone had already started meditacion! meditation was okay i guess, i slept through a bit of it, but then i felt guilty and decided to read through the extract. suprisingly, the extract was really gory, things like jesus getting his flesh ripped off, blood flowing down his legs, etc. soo it really made me think about what it meant to be whipped. LOL. yah, i sound pretty dumb ^^"", but before i read this my mind would always just go, "oh yeah, jesus got whipped and spat at , then he took a heavy cross and got nailed onto it, and hey hey im saved!" ofcourse, it wasn't really that bad, but in a sense somewhere deep i was ignoring common sense, cause i thought of the experience as being "normal" i guess, just heard it too many times. i also remember our group had a very touching sharing time, which im hoping not to forget, so that's why a write it down in this blog =D.

i pigged out at breakfast, cause everyone kept saying that we wouldn't get lunch, LOL. it's not as epic as the 40 hour famine, but i'll still be starving ==;. after charging up, we went to do the stations of the cross, well im sure we did something before that, but i don't have my camp timetable here >.<. the stations was a unique experience, it was probably one of the only times that i could see sam actually be serious about something =O=O, i just remember being really emo about the whole thing. the hand washing part really annoyed me though, cause the dye didn't come off until 2 days after the camp. we had to whip a tree which symbolised jesus, that was okay i guess. then we had to carry this gay cross which dug into your shoulders, and i realised how painful it must have been for jesus to make the journey to calvary. i'm a bit ashamed of myself, here i am complaining about a cross which is one-tenth the size of a real one. having someone whip you must have been really humiliating aswell, how humble jesus must have been. If it was me i would have rather get killed punching on a soldier. but jesus even had the deathnote, but he didn't use it to escape the pain. as we nailed our sins on the cross, honestly, i felt that my troubles were starting to leave me, and this kind of unnatural peace was there. I felt like i had hope, joy and family all at once, i guess it's hard to explain with my english, hahhaha...my heart found peace...hahaha how ironic.

everything after that was a bit of a blank. ROFL. i remember singing, jumping and worshipping god with all my heart, ahh..how wonderful it was. i think a lot of people opened up after the stations, im so happy when i think about josh ^^ ohh josh..his innocent love for god, and dedication is so touching. i guess that was really when god was visibly working in us, people slowly started to let go of heavy hearts and experience his love again. we had pita bread for dinner that night, if god allows me, please never let me touch that stuff again. no offense, but it tastes a bit like eating wheat straight off the stalk. LOL. the oil made it worse and the butter made it oily and salty and dry.. ewwwwwww. we started the night with another worship session, and this time almost everyone started jumping and shouting.. ahhh.. ^^. it's so happy thinking about it. although at that point god had only taken out josh and cath. everyone was being touched in their own ways. doc john then announced a prayer walk, which was probably the most life-changing experience i've had in my LIFE? taking the dark path, was honestly quite creepy at the start, but as the darkness slowly consumed my vision it soothed me to know that i wasn't alone anymore. at one point the trees had been cleared out, and all you could see was the brightest of stars staring into your face. thousands, millions? it didn't matter, it was proof of his majesty. or do you expect me to believe in the big bang theory? x]

it's getting a bit late so i better stop here.. finish the epic story tommorow then!

sweet dreams,
ken